...or tries to...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Missing you...




The Old Blue Barn is up on a shelf right now, empty. Wow, that was needlessly depressing in tone, it's not like it burned up in a fire or was accidentally crushed in a soccer-ball incident-(that did happen once, to another house, long ago). It's right over my head while I'm typing away here. But I had to pack up its insides and put it away when I sold my home, there just wasn't room where I'm living now. And it's a time-inhaler. It calls to you like a tiny siren, play with me play with me, you're ten again and you'll be ten forever, and you're afraid you'll look up, like some enchanted princess in a creepy old fairy tale, to find that you're 95 and hadn't noticed time passing.

But I love it. I just do. All you miniaturists know what I'm talking about. Unless you sell what you fashion from from clay and toothpicks and paper, it's one of the few things on earth that has nothing to do with deadlines, or juror's panels, or even logic. It's self-contained, you do it because it's so much fun, to hunch over and make something minisculely real from something else, to stick your face into a tiny room, hold your breath, and float there, transformed, like a ghost from another dimension.








Yeah, I'll probably take it down from the top of the bookshelf. My full scale things, the contents of my actual home - furniture, pottery, world globes, silverware, books, are all stuffed up into two labyrinth-like storage units. They're waiting for the complexities of adult life, with their contracts and addendums and closing costs, to set them free. But the Old Blue Barn's contents are in a plastic shoe box in my mother's garage. Right over there. This is something I can easily put back together again.


6 comments:

madge1967 said...

Yeah, Ms. 'A' I miss both of them too!
How you been girlie? I had to do the same thing for Christmas this year so the both of mine are in the extra bedroom on the fold out table!
M

Amy said...

Hey M! I'm great-how are you doing? This cold weather thing-crazy, no?

It's so sad seeing them pushed aside, isn't it? Like friends you don't hang out with anymore...

Sans! said...

Amy, I was at your Flickr ..again..and witnessed the making of of this blue barn. Then I went to my own tribal house and sat before it for a good whole hour or maybe half, don't know, felt like a long time. Pottered around , straightened the plant, fiddled with the bedspread..all the adult things and wishing I did not have the concerns of tomorrow so I could begin work on the kitchen or maybe dig a hole for my lotus pond.

Tonight especially, this world is my solace. How we forget sometimes what brought us joy and peace, even power when everything else only want to drag you down.Then again, I sometimes fear that all I want to do from now on, is to hunch over, as you said, and never get up again.

rosanna said...

Hi Amy. I'm Rosanna. i found your blog from Sans' one. I'm glad I met you and your work. I have gone through your posts, I haven't read all of them but quite a few and I'll be back.In the meanwhile, best wishes for your life and achievements, Rosanna

Amy said...

Sans, I know exactly what you mean. There's so much joy in the smallest things, even though I have to remind myself that the doll houses are meant, for me, to reflect a better version of the world around me. They inform each other-you must find that to be true. I have to make sure they stay in balance.

Hi Rosanna! I just popped over to your joyous blog-I'm so glad you introduced yourself to me. I'm still sighing over those tiny books you wrote about...

TINK-SONIA said...

WOW I adore your amazing dollhouse,is so real and diferent! I love the work!I invite you to participate in my little giveaway.Best miniregards from Spain.